mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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