She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
