i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
