I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
