I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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