Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
