you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm too high and old for this...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
