so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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