My brain says no but my pants say off.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
