Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
