i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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