sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
