apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
