You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
