If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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