There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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