He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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