I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
