She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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