I'm going to jail i love you
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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