Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
