She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
