He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My feet surprised me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
