so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We are all done wearing pants today
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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