i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
