im six kinds of drunk right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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