margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize