I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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