M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize