he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He has the fingertips of a God
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
