they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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