I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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