my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
