you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
