ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hippo gnu deer
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
