Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
