i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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