there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
