I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize