I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just invented taco cereal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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