I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He passed out mid-signature
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize