Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
