She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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