I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
