is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
