he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
