totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So many bounce houses so little time
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
