This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize