i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
