hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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