Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
