I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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