Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
