I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
