Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
