I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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