everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
