Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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